


Number to Heaven

by Hazzaandloubearforever



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Pregnant Steve Rogers, this is sad but sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28010598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazzaandloubearforever/pseuds/Hazzaandloubearforever
Summary: Does anyone have the number to heaven? He needs it right now. He just can’t help it. He misses him. He misses his laughter. His witticism. His smile. His chocolate brown eyes. Steve was the only person that Tony allowed in; to see him when he was at his absolute breaking point. If only Steve could turn back time.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 28





	Number to Heaven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Capsicle2013](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capsicle2013/gifts).



> Hi peoples! I heard this song **‘Number to Heaven’ by Justin Champagne.** while I was on a plane to visit family and it gave me Stony feels so I put the song on repeat and cranked it out on the airplane! 
> 
> If you haven’t heard this song, I highly recommend you listen to it before reading this because it will add to the ambiance and emotions tied to this story and it's just a really good song! :D
> 
> _This story is being gifted to Capsicle2013. If it weren’t for her amazing writing and stories about Stony, I would have never gotten into this fandom! If you haven’t read her stuff, I encourage you to check it out! She’s incredible!_

Does anyone have the number to heaven? He needs it right now. He just can’t help it. He misses him. He misses his laughter. His witticism. His smile. His chocolate brown eyes. The sweet whispers uttered in the middle of the night. The saccharine words that spill from his lips when he feels particularly vulnerable and wants to be sappy. And believe it or not, he even misses his arrogance. Steve was the only person that Tony allowed in; to see him when he was at his absolute breaking point. If only Steve could turn back time.

Granted, it’s been almost a year since Tony passed and the blond-haired man has more than reconciled with the idea that his lover is gone, but this particular day had the super soldier reminiscing about what they used to be. What they were _supposed_ to be. It wasn’t often that Steve would wallow. He knew Tony wouldn’t want that. He’d want him to live each day like it was the last and make the best out of every experience. 

Steve woke up feeling off and he couldn’t figure out why. Today wasn’t anything unusual and the super soldier was ready to start his morning routine when he suddenly bumped into the wall and the picture frame containing their wedding photo had fallen and shattered. It set off a wave of emotions and the next thing Steve knew--with tears trekking down his cheeks--he was scrambling into clothes and driving out to the cemetery, doing his best to keep his eyes from blurring with tears.

The day that Tony was stolen from Steve indefinitely will forever plague his mind. Watching the life leave his husband’s eyes and the arc reactor dimming to nothing on that battlefield was the equivalent of Steve losing a limb—maybe even worse. His entire world had disappeared in the blink of an eye. It was in that moment that Steve knew he would be returning home to a cold bed, a silent lab, and old coffee. The love of his life was gone. If it weren’t for the serum coursing through his veins, he would have followed after Tony. Anything to stay with his beloved.

A choked sob escapes Steve’s throat as he drops to his knees in the wet grass and runs a shaky hand across the marbled tombstone. “What would you say if I could have you back right here for one day? I’d do anything to see that smile on your face again. What would it take for you to just stay? It wasn’t your time, yet. You were taken from us too soon, Tones.”

Steve sniffles and wipes his puffy eyes before he presses a kiss to the icy rock. He’s found himself visiting Tony’s gravesite more often lately and each time it feels like he’s reopening a wound. A wound that never heals. Perhaps it’s the only option Steve has to keep himself sane—to realize that the last few years being blissfully happy wasn’t a dream; that he was, in fact, married to his other half and fighting alongside him whenever the world called.

“I know we had the chance to bring everyone back but I didn’t know this was the price to pay. Then again, you’re pretty stubborn and you would have found a way anyway, my opinions be damned. Anything so you could finally rest, right? I know you think that what happened was on you but it wasn’t. It was on all of us, Tony. We’re the Avengers. It’s our job to protect the world. It was _my_ job to protect you. And I failed.”

Steve can’t recall how many arguments he and Tony had over Thanos and the Infinity Stones. Each argument always ended the same; Tony storming off to the lab and locking himself up for hours at a time with desperation to find a solution to fix everything. Now, Steve wishes he had followed after Tony every time they argued instead of letting him waste his time cooped away in the lab. He didn’t realize being married to the love of his life would be short-lived. Steve regrets every argument they’ve ever had.

“I know you’re in a better place and nothing else would take the pain away. I know it’s selfish wishing you back here, but dammit, Tony, I’m so lost without you. I miss you. We miss you.”

Steve closes his eyes to gather his bearings and lets out a shaky breath. The weather is brisk but it’s still. Almost an eerie calm. Memories flash behind his eyes like a motion picture; exchanging their vows on their wedding day with Steve crying like a blubbering child, waking up in a hospital on multiple occasions to find Tony clutching his hand with glassy eyes and a wavering smile and visibly seeing the tension leave his body at the mere fact that he got to see his bright eyes again. These memories cause more tears to trek down the soldier’s face as he places his hand over his swollen belly. He’s due any day and if their daughter is anything like her father, she’ll most likely make her debut sometime this evening.

“I know this sounds silly but pick up the phone if you can hear me. I need to make sure you’re alright. If only there was a number to heaven,” Steve whispers with a small smile and stands up with a grunt. Getting up from places has become more and more obsolete the lower his daughter rests in his belly. It’s a sure sign that she isn’t going to wait another week for her due date.

“I love you, Tones.” Steve murmurs to the tombstone before he cradles his belly lovingly. The soon-to-be parents smiles and rubs his belly when his daughter kicks against his palm. “Morgan and I both do.” He presses two fingers to his lips before pressing them against the stone and makes his way back toward his car.

Just as Steve’s leaving the cemetery, he feels a warm breeze brush across his face. It would be nothing out of the ordinary if the weather wasn’t currently 33 degrees with the chance of it snowing. The breeze brings on another set of tears as Steve glances up to the cloudy sky and smiles. It was as if Tony was speaking to him.

_I’m alright. I love you both, too._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think! I haven’t written in quite some time and I want to get back into the writing game! So, if you have any prompts for Stony (mpreg or not), please don’t hesitate to send me your ideas! I do not have a preference on which is pregnant as I enjoy reading either pregnant Steve or Tony, please send them my way!! I'd love to see what people want written!
> 
> You can submit them to me on Tumblr at false-hope-is-a-bitter-mistress or by email at vegasgirl1818@yahoo.com.


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